Stuff I Remember From College
In the first year of the course I was on, there were two main groups: group A and group B.
In the group I was in, the class was split into two smaller groups: Matt, Vicky and myself and then all of the other members of our class.
During the second year of the course, Giles was in the same small group as me, until he got a car and he went back to the other small group.
When I say "Shoo et al", I'm talking about the small group that I wasn't a member of.
The day of the interview: Jay coming over to me and keeping me company.
He also walked with me back to town, since the bus wasn't running.
The first day: Sam and Simown scaring the crap out of me due to the volume of their voices.
I got used to them quickly, however.
On the first day, we were all sent to one room (there were like, 40 students in one room
)
and Andy, our tutor, was calling our names / taking the register.
I heard the name "Shannon" being called and thought that the voice that responded to the name sounded pretty deep for a girl.
I later found out that Shannon was actually a guy.
He just had a really cool name.
(His nickname is Shoo, which is even cooler.)
Jay randomly turning around to Vicky and saying "Hi there, random girl!".
The group of us went out and I lit up a cigarette. Sam basically told me off for smoking while having a cigarette himself.
Me and Vicky were told that we would be in group B, while all of the new people we had just met would be in group A. We weren't happy, especially when we found out how boring group B was; I fell asleep during our first ever lesson!
In our first programming lesson, we have to write some program which has some text written on it. Either Vicky or I wrote "[name of a member of group A who's male] is gay". Andy laughs and says that we have to make it say something a bit nicer and not be about our classmates.
On the day out to Mount Edgecombe (to try and make the two groups all BUDDY BUDDY or something equally as bollocks),
me and Vicky decide that we were going to ask our Tutor if we could switch to group A.
We had a long list of reasons why we shouldn't be in group B, should he say no or ask us why we'd like to move.
We asked him and all he said was "Okay, sure.".
Mount Edgecombe: Vicky and I befriended Jon and dragged the poor guy around with us for the whole day.
Mount Edgecombe again: we had to do some stupid game where there were these large poles with holes in...students would have to fill up these poles
with water and the other students would have to try and stop the water from leaking out, using their hands.
Matt and I were at the bottom of one pole and some guy in group B poured water over me and Matt and not in the bloody pole.
Both Matt and I were soaking wet and freezing cold, thanks to that prick.
Coming back from Mount Edgecombe: Chris attempted to make a bet with Jay. If Chris won, he "got" both myself and Vicky...
Vicky and I got switched into group A. On our first day in that group, in the very first lesson, Shoo et al got the whole class kicked out. Both Vicky and I were thinking "What the hell have we let ourselves in for?".
Chris, apparently the smelly member of the class (I can't smell, so I wouldn't know),
took a shining to me. He invited me around to his flat for a "private party".
Ew.
Simown, Vicky, Jon and I went to town during a lunch break. We were a bit late getting back and walked quickly back to College. When we got there, Vicky and I were all out of breath and as we were going up the stairs, Jon said that if he enters the class with me and Vicky being all breathless, then people would wonder what the hell we'd been up to.
In the first couple of weeks, our programming teacher, Andy, said that we had to do a test to see how much we'd learnt. He turned on the overhead projector and what was on the screen?
"Where's Wally."
We went to the Hoe once; me, Vicky, Jay, Dan, Giles and Chris.
Vicky, Jay and I sat and watched Dan, Giles and Chris play frisbee.
Chris kept getting "too hot" and started removing some of what he was wearing, until he was wearing a scummy old t-shirt and what appeared to be a pair of boxers.
And he was crap at frisbee!
The day my cat got run over, I was really upset but needed to go into our first lesson because we had a test.
I went to the bus stop, where Matt and Gary were waiting (since we all got the College bus to College together).
They didn't know what to do with a crying female and looked really uncomfortable, which made me feel even more like crying.
We get to College.
I see Sam.
I go over for a hug and the git jumps back away from me.
(Apparently, he thought I was going to kill him or something!)
He then sees that I'm upset and gives me my hug.
We go into the lesson and our teacher hasn't even bothered to show up.
Me, Jon, Jay and Giles are taken to the ice rink because Vicky had some friends there and wanted to see them. I'm freezing cold, so I sit between Jon and Giles and ask them both to sit a bit closer to me, effectively making them my human blankets!
About a week after our first assignment has been handed in, I need to go home early because I wasn't feeling well. While on the bus to go home, I get a text from Vicky, saying that I'd gotten a distinction for my assignment. Jay was the only other person to get a distinction from that assignment.
I was sat next to Giles in Andy's lesson and we were messing about.
He pulled my hand away from wherever it was and sort of rested it on his leg (but in a way where I couldn't move it).
Andy turned around and said loudly "Karli and Giles are getting a bit close there...".
One time in Heather's class, Dan and Shoo decided to play "chair matrix" (we had these swivel chairs and they'd lean really far back in the chair, matrix style). Dan fell off his chair and Heather kicked him out of the lesson for it.
In one of our hardware lessons, I was really tired.
I turned to Matt and said "I'm so tired. I want to go back to bed."
Matt turned around and replied with: "I'll join you!".
Then he realised what had just come out of his mouth...
Shoo et al having paper ball fights in the lessons, in the hallway while waiting for lessons, etc.
We didn't have a bin outside of our main room for the first year. There was a hole in the ceiling. Guess where we put our rubbish?
As well as rotting food in the ceiling, we ended up with rotting fruit (banana and cucumber, mainly) stuck to the walls and a door, thanks to the other members of the class having food fights.
The hallway we usually sat in was overlooking the atrium and was sort of like a balcony (in that we could look down at people eating).
Once, Adrian brought in an orange and somehow a food fight started. The orange peel went down over the side...
At the start of the first year, Simown and I collected bits of paper and ripped them into tiny pieces. While standing in "our" hallway, we would throw these pieces of paper down onto Matt, Gary and Giles, who were sat below us.
Once we got kicked out of our hallway.
Someone had started another (object) fight and an empty drinks bottle was thrown down, into the atrium.
It almost hit someone on the head (or it did...I can't quite remember) and security came up and removed the lot of us...
The fire exit doors were useless by the time our class finished the course; the other members of the group broke the fire doors by playing football against them and just being eejits.
Matt, Vicky and I were doing our work in our hardware lesson, when everyone started laughing.
Matt and I looked around and quickly figured out what everyone was laughing about; our hardware teacher had developed an erection.
Matt, Vicky and myself found this mildly embarrassing, while everyone else obviously thought this was hilarious.
Vicky drank something like two or three bottles of coke in a couple of hours.
She became really hyper and started shaking.
During one of our lessons in the second year, a fire alarm went off and we all had to go and stand outside in the car park (IN the freezing cold!). Either Sam or Adrian (someone with a really loud voice) shouted out "LOOK AT ME!!!" and everyone in the car park turned and stared at us.
Instead of staying in Heather's lessons, Vicky and I would sometimes go out for coffee...I mean, go to the library.
I ordered my new mobile phone (Motorola RAZR V3 Black) off the Vodaphone website.
The following Tuesday, while I was walking to College with Matt, Vicky and Ross (guy from the second year), I got a phone call from my mum saying that my phone had just arrived.
Ross took the mick 'cause I was all excited and bouncy all the way to College.
After spending most of the year with the rest of the group taking no notice of me and Matt whatsoever, I got lots of attention once I brought my new phone in.
For some of our lessons, our class was on the same floor as the Beauty Therapy girls.
Every time a girl from that course walked by, all of the males in our class (with exception to Matt and probably Giles) would get all hyper and excited.
Vicky and I were mean about it and said that it's cause the males couldn't get laid.
We were all sat in Andy's lesson, doing our work (yes, we did do some work sometimes...), when Andy asks us to turn around "and listen up". Matt, Vicky and I all turned around, Andy gave us a funny look and said "...you guys don't need to listen. It's about the XBOX." With that, Matt, Vicky and I rolled our eyes and went back on with our work. At the same time, everyone else in the class turned around to listen to Andy.
Matt and I, when it was warm, would sometimes have lunch in the cemetary near our College.
If Vicky was in College at the time, then we'd all have lunch together in the cemetary.
We came back for the second year and Dan and Jay had been transformed...into "wannabe boyband members" (as Vicky and I so lovingly put it).
Vicky apparently thought "the Backstreet Boys!" when Jay and Dan walked into the room!
In the space of like, a week, Cooper went from "skater dude" to "cool guy from the 50s" (think "The Fonz").
It was so sudden that everyone in the class not only noticed it but commented on it.
Vicky went to kick Matt (I forget why) and her shoe fell off her foot.
Giles picked up her shoe and threw it into a tree.
He then told her to "go fetch" and called her a dog for quite some time later.
Although it was kind of funny (in a sick way) the first day, him calling her "Lassie" for a few weeks got really old, really quickly.
I was trying to give up smoking, shortly before Christmas (2005).
I was telling Matt and Vicky about how, when some of my friends had been giving up smoking, they'd suck on lollipops.
However, I don't like lollipops because of how they make my teeth feel.
Vicky turned around to Matt and said (loudly, I might add) "Matt, what should Karli suck?".
Matt went bright red. Vicky and I turned around to see what had made him go bright red and we saw that Andy, Jay, Dan, Shoo and Giles were all looking at us with their jaws on the floor.
Me and Matt sat quite close together most of the time. There was a male member of the class who kept staring at the area we were in. Matt thought this guy was staring at me, I thought this guy was staring at Matt. I spent most of our last year teasing Matt about the guy.
About a week after I came back from my holiday in Gran Canaria, Vicky wasn't very well and so it was just me and Matt.
We had lunch together in a fire exit on the opposite side of the building we were normally in.
Sam had been left on his own or something and came & joined us and we just messed about and chatted about random stuff.
(And I think this is where Sam got the wrong idea about me and Matt.)
During one of Heather's lessons, Vicky and I started talking:
Karli: When I first started, I only used my index fingers. Now though, I use all of them, sometimes I even use my little fingers and my thumbs.
Vicky: Same here! Except I don't really use my little fingers that much because they're really small and they can't reach.
Shoo came over and asked us what we were talking about.
We both looked at him blankly.
He *helpfully* reminded us that we had been talking about using our fingers and which fingers we use...
Vicky and I turned to him and were like, "oh, typing, duh".
Dan said to Shoo that he couldn't believe Shoo had just come over and asked us.
Vicky and I took great delight in asking Matt really personal questions and making him embarrassed.
Matt, Giles, Vicky and I had just had our lunch in the canteen.
We were walking out, Matt was about an arm's length infront of me and slightly to the right.
He was putting his bag back on and putting his left arm through the strap, he didn't realise how close to him I was and accidently hit my chest.
I screeched at him and he went bright red.
We often got kicked out of James' lessons, due to the other members of the group.
They'd mess around, James would get irate, they would take the mick out of James, James would totally lose it and kick us all out, while apologising to me, Matt and Vicky.
We got kicked out of Steve's lesson at least once. They all (the other members of the class) used the same method with Steve as they did with James...
Once, after lunch, we all went to our lessons. Matt, Giles, Vicky and I got kicked out of the lesson so Andy could tell off the other members of the group.
While Vicky was in America, the weather here got really warm.
On the hottest day, Matt and I decided to go and take a walk on the Hoe.
We each bought an ice cream but never got to eat it all; it was so hot and windy, our ice cream melted really quickly and we lost most of it on the floor.
Sometimes the noise of the other members of the group (everyone except Matt, Vicky and myself) reached deafening proportions.
Shoo came in once (well, a few times, actually), really hungover.
He sat on the stairs near our room and someone came and told him to get off the stairs because he was being a "fire hazard".
Shoo refused to get off the stairs.
Shoo got suspended because the person who had asked him to move off the stairs just happened to be the vice-principal or something!
(And Shoo wasn't even being a bloody FIRE hazard, he was being a SAFETY hazard. It's not like he can spontaneously combust at his will.)
In most lessons, if anyone had a problem, they'd go to Vicky for help. During our web lessons, people came to me for help, including Vicky.
The other members of the group took great delight in "ripping" each other and just generally being bitchy to one another's faces. This was always highly amusing to watch but there was one particular time where it was absolutely hilarious. Unfortunately, neither myself or Vicky can remember what exactly was said but it was about Paul and sex...
Vicky and I had bought a notebook and used that to talk about "girl stuff".
The book sparked up a lot of interest with our classmates; some of them kept asking us to give them the book so they could read it.
Of course, Vicky and I wouldn't let any males near it.
Giles and Shoo both tried, unsuccessfully, to take the book from us while we were holding it.
We did at one point, read out a couple of paragraphs to Matt. Well, he thinks we did.
In the second year, Matt would normally pick me and Vicky up for College and then drive us back home.
There was this one time when he couldn't and told us the day before that he would be unable to pick us up.
He didn't get hold of Vicky in time, so I ended up getting the bus to town (and catch the College bus from town) on my own, while Vicky ended up getting a taxi (she was too late to catch the bus).
I was waiting for the College bus to turn up, when I heard someone stop next to me, stomp their feet and clear their throat.
I looked up and there was Jay.
The College bus ended up not turning up, so Jay and I ended up walking to College together.
Once, I had just come onto my period and went to the staff room to tell Heather that I wouldn't be going to her lesson.
I told her why I wouldn't be going to her lesson and that I probably wouldn't come back.
Then a male voice told me to clean up and then come back - Frank had heard me.
I was embarrassed by this.
Not because a male knew about my "girl problem" (they have to learn that stuff in school) but because I hadn't known Frank was in that room.
Vicky was with me at the time and we both just jumped because we weren't expecting a man's voice; we didn't think anyone else was in the room.
The IVA was a really big assignment we had to do. If we failed the IVA, we failed the course.
Matt, Vicky and I got really stressed out over it because our teachers weren't helping us when we needed the help.
Instead, the teachers were too busy helping out the students who either hadn't bothered to even show up to previous lessons or hadn't bothered paying attention in the lessons they had attended.
Someone *did something* to the College server, which resulted in some of the people losing their work.
During the IVA.
Vicky lost her database and this was about three weeks into the IVA...
The other lot going on about how much Paul likes (*wink*wink*nudge*nudge*) horses.
On the first day, Jay went up to someone in our class and asked what his name was. The guy responded with "God".
God was actually called Jon but Vicky and I called him God for the first week or so because we didn't know his real name.
In the second year, Vicky and I sometimes acted a bit silly and childish with Matt; he'd do something and then we'd be all "oh we're so not talking to you!".
Matt telling me and Vicky that his parents were moving him back to America 'cause they felt that he wasn't doing as well here as he could be.
It was a bloody lie!
I don't think me and Vicky ever forgave him for that...
Matt and I would go on MySpace during lessons.
We would quite often come across inappropriate pictures people had posted...mainly of male genetelia.
What made this worse is the fact that the ICT Technicians could watch what we were looking at on the computers...
A bunch of gay men added Matt as a friend on MySpace ('cause Matt's so pretty).
Matt didn't mind this too much but one of them posted a "Thanks For The Add!" message, using a naked image of himself.
Matt removed it but Vicky and I told him that the guy had reposted it and Matt wasn't able to check until he got home because at that time, College had banned MySpace!
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